August 14, 2008

by plainspeak

I don’t know why I wrote this post. It is bad. Or may be not I am not sure.

It was Friday. It was when I went to piss at 4 o’clock that day, that I saw that it was a haze of grey outside . Well, with only work in my mind, I went back and hardly gave a thought to the heavy rain. I had some work in the office, so had to stay back till 6:30. Only when I came out to catch the bus did I remember the sight I had seen at 4. With not even a umbrella(lost the one I had got), me and Kela(my house-mate who defies the law of conservation of mass) did the usual skirting along the side of the building to protect ourselves from the rain on our way to the bus.

On the way home, it had stopped raining. When we got down, it started very lightly again, and then started ramping up(can’t help but use the word after spending 2.5 months in the jargonic corporate world), till a point that it starting pouring heavily. My clothes were wet, but because I was going home, I didn’t give a damn. Well, when I came back home, another shitty thing happened. Power went off. Well, I didn’t have much packing to do, and I had to be only at 11:15 at Anand Rao circle(Near Majestic), there was lots of time. And it is the engineer’s duty to do everything at the last moment. So, thinking I had all the time in the world, I disregarded the increasingly heavy rain, and started to play candle-lit carrom with Kela. Seriously there was nothing else to do. Kela is not a bad player of carrom and pleads with me to play carrom with him always. I oblige sometimes, and I have always been a large hearted man to let him defeat me always except once when I wanted to show who the real king of carrom was, me winning 29-28. Well, time was lost in carrom, and it hadn’t stopped raining yet. Neither me or kela had an umbrella. And VK(who has the dubious contradiction of loving animals(doesn’t wear leather belts etc) and being a proud non-vegetarian at the same time) had taken his umbrella along with himself to his relative’s house. I pleaded with Kela to get an umbrella from the Gult owner of the house, so that we could go to the local supermarket and buy myself an umbrella. So, I went to the supermarket and found that they weren’t selling any, and then went to another, and was asked to go to the third floor, time was running out(I wanted to be at the bus stand by 9). I went and saw to my horror that there were only girlie umbrellas available. But, when I searched properly I did find some black umbrellas. So, I decided to buy it. But wait, I saw the label, and here it was for 667 rupees only. Well, with no time, and having more than a goat’s brain, I decided to adjust with a girlie umbrella for a day( which was available for 220 rupees), I got the umbrella, and Mr Kela had bought himself a chocolate plus cup cakes, which I snatched from him, as I hadn’t had dinner. So, there I was at the bus stand at around nine, when I ralised that hey, here it was rainin g heavily, and it is 9. What if no ffing bus comes? So, I waited for 5 minutes, no bus. Another 5 mins, no bus. Some people were meanwhile getting into some private buses, maxicabs, cars etc. Me being a prowd owner of the BMTC bus pass, I was waiting for a bus and bus alone. Another 5 mins, no bus. I decided to wait another 5 mins, and in case of no bus, I decided to take an auto to airport road bus stop. But, the bus came, and I got a seat too. But, the bus was only till Marathahalli . Well, on my way to Marathahalli, I falsely remembered that I had to get the passport as photo ID along with the ticket. Well, after working at the job, I have realised that being calm is a powerful way to solve problems, and I realised that I had done direct booking at the booking center, and I didn’t require a photo ID. Well, I saw a Domlur bus going ahead. Well, I forgot to tell that all the while, the bus I was moving at the speed of a bullock cart. It was around 9.45 at that time. So, I thought I would definitely be on time. Well, I caught the Domlur bus near Marathahalli, thinking that I might get additional Majestic going buses from Domulr depot. But, this bus too was going slow, and I was eyeing my watch. For the first time, I seriuosly began to doubt if I could make it on time. But then, the bus slowly caught pace, and the road being surprisingly less crowded from Marathahalli till Domlur, cane very fast. Then, getting down at Domlur bridge, I ran(No, there were no dogs) towards the bus stand. I could see a Pushpak, but I missed it in a few seconds. But, well I made it to the bus stand.

Here I was alone in the bus stand when some lady(27-30 yrs old I think) year lady came. With an umbrella each in our hands, I remembered the “Pyaar huwa ikraar huwa ” song. Well, I came back to reality soon. Another Pushpak bus came. There was space for only two people to get into the bus. It was so crowded. I thought for a moment that maybe there was another bus coming later. But, better sense prevailed and I got into the bus. Well, having lost a mobile in a similarly but slightly less crowded bus, at that very bus stop, I was careful enough to clutch my precious mobile, and my purse.

Well, after about 5 minutes or so, I realised to my horror that some guy was putting his hands into my shirt pocket to get my mobile. Well, I didn’t shout, because I thought the other person might turn violent. So, I got away from that thief, and stood elsewhere. But, the bus driver was constantly asking me(In kannada) to go inside. What the *uck? How could I go inside when there was no ffin space. I told him that. Still he seemed to believe that there was some space. Well, I gave the same reply as before. Then he started torturing me asking me to go back, saying he couldn’t see the left side’s real view mirror. Thus, it should be clear that a torturer is a torturer, whatever language he speaks, and whatever country he belongs to. The driver was talking to people in singular whatever, I don’t remember the word. It was as if he thought he was the lord. It was as if he was enjoying the overcrowding of the bus. I realised what sadists felt like. He was feeling comfortable in his chair looking at the crowded bus. I felt what a concentration camp felt like, and I for the first time sympathhised with the Jews, Borat notwithstanding.

Well, then again, we hit a stretch of traffic again, and we finally came toa place where it stopped at around 11:10. All along I had been looking at my watch and was increasingly reassured that I wouldn’t reach Majestic before 11:10.(Anand Rao cirlce I had learnt was 5 minutes from there, though I didnt know the exact route). Well, I have recently coined a philosophy which states that if you want your plan A to succeed, don’t have a plan B. So, I thought, I would somehow catch the bus. I began formulating theories like, the bus which is supposed to come, might also have been stuck in traffic, that the bus authorities would know of the traffic jam, and would wait till all passengers came, and that many passengers would be late, so the bus would have to wait. Meanwhile, I also formulated a plan B, because the situation was so hopeless. I decided to ditch the trip home, and book a room fro a day in some lodge if I didn’t catch the bus. Well, the bus stopped at a place at 11:15. And at the same place till 11:20. 11:25. People began feeling impatient, and started getting down. I wasn’t sure where the bus was, but hearing people’s words, it was not a long walk to Majestic. Then, one guy walked out of the bus at 11:30 proudly proclaiming that the bus would take 45 minutes to go to Majestic, which I thought was greatly exaggerated. Then, 11:35, 11:40. The bus at the same place. I too came out. I realised I was foolish to come out so late. And followed the crowd, and to my horror I saw that all the buses were empty and people had filled the streets, and there were more people walking then , than in day time. Well, I started running , and because of the rain, there was so much muck, but as I was going home, I disregarded the dirt at the end of my trousers, and was going as fast as I could, getting away from people’s way , and navigating as if I was running a steeple chase. Well, it was unprecedented. The whole road to Majestic was filled with empty buses. I realised that the person who said the bus would take 45 minutes had truly exaggerated. It would reach only the next morning. Well, I reached Majestic, and asked some good samaritan, the route to my bus stop, and he showed a short cut. And I ran. When I had gone to the bus stop, it was 12:15. I went to the reception, and asked if the 11:15 was still there. To my surprise he said, yes, and asked me to hurry, I might lose it if I was slow. Well, I ran as fast as I could, and it had gone. Well, I told some bus guy(there are many buses to many places by the same company). They told me to get into some bus, and said that I could catch my bus in Rajajinagar. Well, there were people like me, who had missed their buses. I was apprehensive that I might miss the bus there too. Well, I saw to my pleasant surprise that there was a traffic jam ahead. So, I thought, whoever said that traffic jams are bad? I saw some people were becoming ad-hoc traffic policemen to manage the traffic jam. My faith in the inherent goodness of people was partly restored. Well, I did manage to catch my bus at Rajajinagar. But, my ride home wasn’t pleasant though.